View profile

💖 How And Why To Reinvent Yourself — With Love

💖 How And Why To Reinvent Yourself — With Love
By Faruk Ateş • Issue #4 • View online
Part one: why you might want to imagine yourself anew, using Love in the process.

Photo by Ramakrishnan Nataraj
Photo by Ramakrishnan Nataraj
Before we begin, Context Matters:
We are who we are today thanks to countless factors influencing and affecting our personal beings. From the moment We were born, this new loving energy waking up into a world of wonder, we grew into ourselves through a mix of external and internal events. We make choices; things happen to us; people inspire or hurt us… so much goes on in life that it is impossible to ever say with certainty that any one thing will or won’t have a certain impact. We are an incredibly adaptive species, and with that evolved skillset comes a receptiveness to new ideas, new experiments, new habits. Each day brings forth new opportunities, new possibilities to try, new choices to make. Each day can also bring more of the same, more of the familiar, more of everything we already knew—yet even then, it makes us into something new as well.
We are constantly new, even when we are old. The difference is the choice.
Free will.
Reinvention begins with knowing that if We don’t make a choice for ourselves, then someone else will make that choice for us. Every day that you do not choose to become who you want to be, others are shaping you into someone they want you to be for them. This is true regardless of politics, religion, ideology, beliefs, environment, community, friends and family. 
This is a matter of your spiritual self, your psychological self-image, and your heart.
Your heart knows best who you want to be. You know this already because whenever you try to answer the question “Who do you really want to be, deep inside?”, your mind will reach out straight to your heart to answer it. 
But do you know how to listen to your heart?
There were many times I didn’t. I was too in my head, too anxious, too depressed, too scared, too alone, too in over my head. Too, too, too. I was too much of everything except for “in touch with my inner being.” I listened only to my mind’s desires, and its fears, and never stopped to check in with my heart. 
It led me to being broke, depressed, and terrified. 
I was living a life as a product of external circumstances, of external ideas and beliefs in society telling me what to do, how to be, who to aspire to, and so forth. I didn’t know it at the time, but my stubborn and relentless resistance to what society kept telling me was actually coming from… my heart. It was my heart that knew, all along, that following the trodden path paved by others was not what would make me happy. 
My heart knew this because deep down inside I knew it. Or rather, deep down inside I knew this because my heart has always known it. 
When I first encountered this quote in my teen years, I fell in love with it and it has been my life-defining quote ever since:
Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path, and leave a trail. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
There isn’t anything inherently wrong about following someone else’s path—after all, in many ways we inevitably do so regardless. But at some point or another, it’s important to know where your own unique path goes that is not the footsteps of someone else.
Maybe you’re young and still trying to figure out what your path could be, or what your heart is trying to tell you. Maybe you’re older and have lived enough life to not think this as relevant to you anymore, but I would disagree. Age is of no matter to the joys of discovery and creation of your own path in life, even if that path is a hard left turn from the straight and narrow journey you’ve been on for years, perhaps even decades.
What’s most important is that you do not give up, do not give into resignation, do not fool yourself into thinking that the life you have right now is the life you deserve to have tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that. The world moves around us every day, changing, becoming new, becoming something else. Our greatest power, by far, as human beings is to be adaptive and change with it—ideally with intention.
There is another quote by Emerson that We find rather appropriate in this moment:
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
The world is constantly trying to make you something that the old world wants you to be, but the old world is dead in the water and quickly disappearing into the past. Whatever world you wake up to tomorrow is going to be different, and that means you have a choice to be different, do something different, every day. 
In rivers, the water that you touch is the last of what has passed and the first of that which comes; so with present time. — Leonardo da Vinci
If you feel gloomy about the world or the future, see this as the opportunity to reinvent yourself into someone who’s going to make a difference.
If you feel optimistic about life today, see this as an opportunity to imagine who else you can become by this time tomorrow.
If you fall anywhere within the spectrum of those two, this is an opportunity to open a lot of new doors of possibility in your life, in your future, and who knows what those doors will open up for you down the road. (I promise you’ll like it!)
Now, for all of you I have an invitation: Try something new. 
Try adding a deliberate new dimension to who you may want to become. 
Try envisioning a next version of yourself who is more loving
Try adding an intentional dash of Love to tomorrow’s version of You.
Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely. — Karen Clark
Love is always wise.
Add a dash of Love to your Future Self
Listen to your heart.
Close your eyes (well, once you finish reading this paragraph), and ask your body to answer this: “What would make me come alive with joy to do every day? What would give my heart a sense of peace and fulfillment, knowing that I’m using my time to contribute something to this world?”
Seriously, close your eyes right now and think about that for a moment. I’m doing it.
For me, it’s writing and teaching and connecting with people around how we can recognize, understand, and implement the practices of Love into our lives. From intimate and personal self-love to saving the world-ambitious love for humanity, it doesn’t matter what drives you or what you need in your current state of life: Love has something to offer you.
As you imagine or envision your next self, paint a picture in your head of who you could be a month, a year, or five years from now and take the following influences from Love into consideration:
Be (More) Truthful
This means practicing being honest with yourself, and transparent about your motivations. We all lie to ourselves to make ourselves feel better, stronger, more capable, or simply less afraid. It’s not a crime. But if we keep the lie up forever, and never challenge ourselves over it, then we become dependent on the outside world to challenge us instead—and that’s even harder to deal with, because now you’ll also have to contend with feeling defensive at the same time.
(Also, if you’re embarrassed by your motivations, consider this the chance to tell yourself to switch it up!)
Embrace Vulnerability
Changing yourself consciously can be scary, and even for the bravest among us it will take courage to take the leap. But courage is the other side of the same coin as vulnerability: what feels vulnerable for you to do is seen as courageous in the eyes of others. 
Embracing vulnerability doesn’t mean making yourself weak; it’s actually about making yourself stronger. It means becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable, to become resilient and strong enough to sit in that discomfort and reflect on why it feels that way. Running away from discomfort isn’t courage, or strength; it’s cowardice. And I can promise you now: your next, better version of you is not a coward. You’re already far stronger than you realize.
Believe In Possibility
Don’t limit yourself based on what you know; more things are always possible than you can think of. Be like James T. Kirk and reject the idea of no-win scenarios. There is always another way, and often, that way starts with the strength and courage in your heart. Even when things seem dire, believe, and believe hard. A better tomorrow is always possible, and if you can shift your mindset to that, you’ll unblock your mind’s creative powers to come up with solutions you’d otherwise have missed.
And be curious! Don’t be afraid to recognize which areas you are ignorant in—remember, Be (More) Truthful and Embrace Vulnerability! Being ignorant about topics is just a matter of being a newbie to those topics, and being a newbie means you bring a fresh, creative, non-predisposed perspective to it all. That can be a wonderfully valuable gift, one which you deprive yourself and others of if you act like you already know everything.
Share Your Story
We are a storytelling species. We captured knowledge, wisdom, and life-saving teachings in stories we would tell new generations for thousands of years, slowly evolving ourselves by becoming more and more equipped with knowledge and the potential power that lies within. Storytelling is—literally!—in our DNA. It’s how our brains are wired, and it’s how we connect with others at a deeper level. 
It’s easier to trust someone whose story you know, and not just the story of their big successes and wins, but also and especially the stories of times they were vulnerable, faced hardships, and how they navigated their way through those.
Love is the bridge
These four practices cultivate and increase the amount of Love in your life, and taking them into account when reinventing yourself can be powerful. 
  • Being truthful increases love through the honesty and transparency that helps you better connect, build trust, and mutual support with others.
  • Embracing vulnerability unlocks your growth, your passion, and your courage, and will win over the hearts and minds of others because they can see that you are being the real you, not a “perfect shell” protecting your real self.
  • Believing in possibility biases you towards hope, optimism, and creativity, all of which are qualities people love—in themselves and in others.
  • And finally, sharing your story with others will foster connection to others by giving them a deeper, more complete picture of who you are as a person. Patti Digh said it best: “The shortest distance between two people is a story.”
Together, these four elements of Love will always serve you well, especially if you adopt them as part of who you want to be next as a person. 
Everything you do is always a choice, and so too is the choice not to think about who you want to be or consciously working towards that. You may not think you’re making that choice when you simply go about your day, but now, having been reminded of that, you know it is no longer true.
So the question to you is: will you incorporate more Love into your next best self?
Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Did you enjoy this issue?
Faruk Ateş

Exploring the fabric of love and how we can cultivate it across human society: from work to personal lives, for deep inner healing and culture change.

In order to unsubscribe, click here.
If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe here.
Powered by Revue